ジンの脳波鼓動抹殺行動

なにもかも くさってる

Feelings which only exists there because of how others response to yours, are merely fantasies of what you wish to happen, and thus mirages. Mirages are but false images created by your desires not even necessary to be from the depths of your soul It is of course not to say that one must unconditionally give at all times regardless of the response they receive but the reason of giving should never to make the mirage into reality Those who are real will prove themselves and those who are false will also soon disperse. Yet it is lonely to see the false ones fade into the shadow abyss.

才能持つ新人バンドを探すことは宝探しによく似てると、思ってきた。 最近気に入ったのはあまり新しいとは言えない・・・ 実は昔あまり興味なかったけど、最近のリリースが結構よくなったからこれからもっと聞いてみると決めた exist trace、xTRiPx この間に新人バンドの音源たくさん入手したので、聞いてから気に入るバンドだけ紹介したいと思う。 でもベテランの存在も注目すべき！！！ 新リリースじゃないんだけど、最近入手した「THE ART OF "Propaganda"」の音源を頂いて Versailles特別バージョンの「PRINCE」を聞いてる今・・・ synth、ギター、ギターのサウンド、メロディー、アレンジなどに鳥肌立った位キレイだった 感動したわけだぜ 裏話だが、 ウチのメンバーが みんな結構ハマるよ、Versaillesを スコア発売するならコピーするかも(笑) でもさ princeとかprincessとかのテーマもういいんだろ？ バンドのコンセプトによく似合ってるけど・・・ 僕の好みに合わんから(←そこかよ；爆) ヴァンパイアは好きけど(笑) うちら、 こういう曲風好きだけど オリジナルはこうならないと思う・・・(苦笑) とにかく俺が書く詞は必ずprincessとか出ないから(爆) ごめんねｗ あ。 今日リハあってスタジオ行ってくきた。 オーナーさんが久々にいたから挨拶した。 相変わらず優しくしてくれた(笑) 自分が違うルーム(小さすぎ・・・)をブッキングしたのに、もっと大きいルームを使っていいよって 助かり～～～さすがｗ てかオーナーさんとブッキングのスタッフさんの名前ぜんぜん知らない(爆) 失礼だなオレm(_ _)m　申し訳ない バンクーバーのバンドシーンを卒業する日が来るなら そこのスタッフさんにビール買ってあげたい(笑) なんか長文になった(汗) もう２時だし。 一緒に寝ようっか？ おやすっ★

２００７年あの有名なセリフでｗｗｗ でもなぜか写真アップできない・・・・・・・ くそexblogがーーー 写真また更新するぜ。待ってろ♪♪ 編集追加：

春★ 余計に嬉しい季節だな(笑) オカンと昼食のあと、花を買いに行ったさ どれも鮮やかでキレイで全部買いたかったわけだよ！(笑) でも結局一つしか決めてなかったのはなんでdayo？！ まぁまぁまぁ・・・ オカンすごく気に入ったみたいからそれだけでいい でもやっぱり、庭のことはオカンに任せるのだ★(←ただのサボり) たまに見に行くときもあるけど 今朝車に入る時、スズメバチに襲われたーーー 普段は別に怖くはないけど 今日なぜか耳にめちゃ近く飛んでた・・・しかも頭を回って飛んでた・・・ 怖いよりも、どうすればいいかわからんなくて ちょっとビビった(苦笑) 夏すぐ来るよな～ もう５月だし～～～ ５月！！ 大好きな月なんだけどさ 理由わかるやついるかな？(笑) 当っても賞品なんかないけど(笑) summer schoolすぐ開始というわけで がんばらなくちゃ もう３時だからもう死ぬ。 死のうか 寝ようっか おやすっ♪

試験が終わった以来、家でのんびりしたのは昨日だけ。 朝から夜までドラマを観てた(笑) でも休みなのに毎日遅寝・・・・(汗) メールやメッセまだ返事してなくてごめん できるなら今日全部書きます。 一昨日はカイの誕生日会・・・とは言っても５人しかいなかったけど？笑 居酒屋で飲んだり話したり こんなのめちゃ久しぶりだな～～ 大学卒業してから、みんな帰国したりどっかに行ったり仕事するんだから これからも珍しいんだろう こう思ってる僕、少しでも大人になったのかな カイが言ってたさ 「こうしてみんなと日本で遊びてぇな」と いつか、必ず、そうしよう。 でも寂しい発言だなあいつ(笑) さすが～(笑) えーと。 明日父さんと釣りに行く。 初めての釣りだから、めちゃ楽しみしてる☆★ 海風に癒されたい！ 自分の力感じたい！ てか、魚ないなら感じられないけど！！笑 部屋掃除は今日完成できるように祈ってくれてください！笑 もう耐えられんから・・・； 昼食食べるぜ♪

久々にリハスタジオに入った 機材を持ち込んだらスタッフさんに「Hey Jin!」って声かけられた(笑) いや～～～ このスタジオから離れられないな～(笑) やっぱ優しい！！ タバコ臭いけど！笑 でもさすがにNickelbackも愛用したスタジオだな 最近みんなは色々で忙しかったから ２曲完成。 ちょっと遅いと思うけど・・・・・ これからだぞ！！ お楽しみしてください！！

試験が全部終わったわけで、夏休み開始。 というわけで、 バンドの時間です。 残念ながら今年のAnime Evolutionに出られないけど、 とにかく６月にライブでできるようになりたいし 曲作りも今、全力でやってます。 ガンバー

most definitely, it is not good to drink coke at 5am but you'll understand when you see the amount of coke I drank the past 2 weeks since exam week started then. I think I drank 1 everyday in between, and 2-3 cans the day before+the day of... It actually starts to taste bad (i know this cycle lol) but I'm totally living off it... need the sugar+caffeine to function right except my stomach's kinda dying again... guess I should stop it right after the exams end today need to go on diet before summer comes

It's been a long time since I feel so discouraged by everything ... contrary to what people see me as.... or are demanding from me.... I'm just a normal person... I also worry about my future.... may that be a professional occupation or a musical career... both are not easy paths to walk It feels strange for me to say it on this blog, since it's mainly for fans to read....and the fact I decided to make this statement public.... but I am actually starting to feel discouraged playing band... 2 years ago when eqlipsE went up, then still crashed down I thought... that would be my last band I can't take it.... it's so much stress and effort... in the end what am I left with? But a lot of fans, and friends encouraged me with their messages and letters.... I decided I can't stop, and retried in Japan... which also didn't work out.... I came back with my heart recharged after seeing the flourishing VK scene there... formed the ProvidencE to try to liven up the VK scene here too with a full fledge VK band....it was meant as a project but we decided to go on as an original band... But I think deep inside, not everyone wanted to play, at least not in the seriousness I wanted to take the band So it fell apart, once again members left we needed to start afresh Due to school, and all of us growing older I think inside a lot of people won't give that effort for band anymore.... and sadly, I think I'm also beginning to think that... I remember I mentioned on this blog before, perhaps a few months ago, asking where I can find members who are willing to walk the path with me. As I chose others, others also choose me How hard is it to do that? To find others who have same interest, goals, and appreciate me for being me? After playing band for 6 years, I realize I really suck at this... school and personal affairs also get in the way of things... There is no way for me to ask that others sacrifice what I did for band... and it is pointless to ask for such. It should've been a self-initiated feeling, mutual as well. What I had to, and would sacrifice for, I will not say here. But I think a lot more than I originally planned for... but the feeling just comes that "I want to sacrifice for these people" because they are not merely "friends", but "nakama" (comrades) After playing in Japan, I realize my straightforward and simple wish there's a lot, a whole fucking lot, of people with the same wish there. Here, it is almost impossible You can say, it's because people here are a lot more reasonable But to get something you must give something that is how it works in this world you can't have everything I guess what I want to say the most, is that there will be a time, that I think I'll stop playing band that may be soon... but regardless, I will not stop singing until the day I die because singing is my soul it is the source and result of all my emotions how can I stop feeling? everytime I sing with my everything I feel like my body and heart will shatter and my soul put on extreme pressure... but it feels good to do so to let everything out.... because that is me. Maybe in the future, I will find some people who will share my line of thought and once again, maybe just maybe I will be willing to give my everything for a band again But for now I don't think this is the right time and place to be very serious about a band again... I will await for that right chance to come whenever that may be. ah, but one thing I should really improve my vocals... lately all I've been getting are criticism on youtube (苦笑) it can't be helped, those songs are all my weak ones, since they are out of my vocal range... the good ones are all taken off... but I don't want to say that like an excuse because no one cares all people care are the product of what is produced so, I will get better to shut everyone up. Just you all wait. Next time I sing on stage, I will be much better than before. I promise to myself!!!!!!!!!! (and to whoever may be reading this (laugh)) BGM：abingdon boys school 「STRENGTH.」